.....

i'm gonna contradict myself .. for what i'm about to express
even if i noe i should remind myself with my very own previous entry which i've posted..

for now,
the recent weather seems to reflect my current mood very well
cloudy,moody,rainy..bring it on



the surrounding, it's so wet ..
just like tears gonna flood my eyes & start flowing
the environment's cold & the same goes for my heart too

(physically wise, i'm shivering every day.. struggling to fight the freezing lib at the same time)
how long more can i still withstand such condition i wonder?
why can't it just stop raining?



rain, rain..go away
come again another day pls?

sunshine .. stop hiding pls
i need some warmth & grandpa sun to brighten up my day a bit



i feel like i've just been defeated..
now going speechless
will be turning on silent mode
until i don't know when
i dont feel like i wanna talk anymore

sorry, i'm just not good enough
i've tried but maybe i haven't really put out my best
when everyone else could have achieved better
it was just a bad attempt
utterly disappointed

on another unrelated note
i think coffee no longer functions in me as it claims
been drinking coffee quite frequently,
almost daily



yet, i don't feel much different
except for the diuretic effect (if it really has...)
i don't think it's helping me to keep alert & stay awake
or probably my body system isn't sensitive enough for it to work?
i dont know
i reckon i can actually just fall asleep anyway even after taking coffee

only alcohol has its defined symptoms for me
*in an exaggerated manner more than it usually occurs in other normal person

well, now, especially when in uni,
taking coffee after coffee after coffee
can drink up to 3 cups a day
is that too much of caffeine intake?