.....

i'm gonna contradict myself .. for what i'm about to express
even if i noe i should remind myself with my very own previous entry which i've posted..

for now,
the recent weather seems to reflect my current mood very well
cloudy,moody,rainy..bring it on



the surrounding, it's so wet ..
just like tears gonna flood my eyes & start flowing
the environment's cold & the same goes for my heart too

(physically wise, i'm shivering every day.. struggling to fight the freezing lib at the same time)
how long more can i still withstand such condition i wonder?
why can't it just stop raining?



rain, rain..go away
come again another day pls?

sunshine .. stop hiding pls
i need some warmth & grandpa sun to brighten up my day a bit



i feel like i've just been defeated..
now going speechless
will be turning on silent mode
until i don't know when
i dont feel like i wanna talk anymore

sorry, i'm just not good enough
i've tried but maybe i haven't really put out my best
when everyone else could have achieved better
it was just a bad attempt
utterly disappointed

on another unrelated note
i think coffee no longer functions in me as it claims
been drinking coffee quite frequently,
almost daily



yet, i don't feel much different
except for the diuretic effect (if it really has...)
i don't think it's helping me to keep alert & stay awake
or probably my body system isn't sensitive enough for it to work?
i dont know
i reckon i can actually just fall asleep anyway even after taking coffee

only alcohol has its defined symptoms for me
*in an exaggerated manner more than it usually occurs in other normal person

well, now, especially when in uni,
taking coffee after coffee after coffee
can drink up to 3 cups a day
is that too much of caffeine intake?

note

this is my current status:
i'm actually feeling kinda frustrated with myself because i see there could have been so much room for improvement, yet, i've not really tried my best ..
and it's too late to make amendments for that .. *sigh*

well, anyways..
there's still 1 more part where it just might make a lil difference..
so the more i shouldn't be giving up on now since it's not over yet
it's just, hmm, not quite the time yet..

to all of you out there trying to live life
i'm not trying to market products, promote or do any free-advertising here..
but hope this might motivate u a bit if you guessed you've not done well but can always do better..

why not think about this:

1. When you realized life is going well, embrace it & learn to appreciate or cherish it..

Are you enjoying it?

2. Open up the world of your mind:

Dare to be creative & unique

3. Whenever you have doubts over matters which might make you regret next time for once allowing the opportunity slip away just like that, don't worry or think too much about it then, instead..

Go ahead..

4. When you start to feel tired, have a small snack in between

Relax yourself..

5. In case you feel lonely, remember this:

somebody else is with you as well

6. If you think of letting go, remind yourself:

Don't Give Up Just Yet

7. Finally, just live life as it is !

Live It to the Fullest..

8. Just don't forget to take good care of yourself always ~

Stay Healthy


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Here's another interesting thing that i've come across somewhere & i thought it meaningful to share here

The 8 basis on which a healthy relationship can be built on:

(i) Love

(ii) Trust

(iii) Honesty

(iv) Communication

(v) Patience

(vi) Understanding

(vii) Happiness

(viii) Faithfulness

Consider all of these mentioned, for me..
it does make sense & it is quite true in fact,
although easier said than done..
because i know actions do speak louder than words
but if u could just try apply what was stated above
i think the relationship will work out at least slightly better

Do believe in yourself (:
hope you guys have a great day ahead ^^



tata..

TGIF

i've just witnessed a spectacular view of fireworks ryte out of my window
literally everywhere, at least from 10 various spots simultaneously, no kidding ..

now, how i wished i had a camera,i really feel like i wanna capture that precious moment in time
bcoz as much as i wanna rely on immortalizing that amazing sight in my own mind,
i noe eventually, my memory couldn't hold & last that long

one day, if i couldn't picture it anymore..i'll be forgetting about it
that's why photograph works wonders giving the sense of evidence that once, there was this something really nice that appeared and it's all worth for the keep ..

have had great experience watching fireworks in shanghai during cny
that was really wonderful as we've walked out to the streets, watching the fireworks shoot up right in front of our eyes..

the feeling that the fireworks blowed up loud, as if exploding towards your direction in close distances, very mesmerizing

fireworks just colours the whole night sky,
and watching 'em reminds me again that life can be this exciting & colourful as well
not just as dark as the night might seem to be
and it can in fact be interesting just like the various patterns of fireworks made

it's friday again .. TGIF
(well, actually saturday just started)
but the assignments, reports, presentations, quizzes for this sem had just been fully completed
waiting for the exam season approaching soon
gotta start preparing soon again

have no idea why throughout this sem,
i've actually been anticipating the exam season to come

maybe coz that's when i can really put down the stress & burden of having to deal with challenging, never-ending assignments over packed datelines

i don't mean to say it's enjoyable to 'face the (real) book' & study
but at least i can focus on just studying properly what i should have learnt
(instead of applying the theories without having fully understood them for the sake of asgts)

and it would mean the sem will be over soon
that's indicating getting rid of yet another sem after putting in so much effort
also hinting holiday's coming and graduation is near as well

it seems like so far tonight had been fun ..
not that it's filled with many activities
but because i'm relieved i survived through the crazy hectic 12 weeks rushing for uni work
after feeling like i'm gonna die from exhaustion or give up halfway thru

perhaps it would feel like the fireworks are part of the celebration for freedom of assignments (temporarily)
but really it's due to the public holiday (happy deepavali)
yet, somehow, i didnt expect that much fireworks (or firecracker sounds heard as well)
it felt more like the arrival of a brand new year 2010 .. haha
or i wonder if it is actually related to this festival of "lights" that so many fireworks were lit up

anyhow, glad it's the time to get to settle down to study before this sem ends
gambateh everyone ~
*i'm sleepy already*

tata

stresssssssssss

omg..

as of now, i think i need some emotion therapy..
something to soothe my mood a little

now, what kinda food really has calming effects huh?
i think i need double portion of those..
not even listening to music aids in relaxing myself already

uni life ain't that fun, if u happen to be studying in monash sunway campus
who said uni life is supposed to be enjoyable, i find it quite the opposite at the moment

stress may be abstract, but it's inevitably there
when there are so many things to accomplish within a limited amount of time

mid-sem break is not as promising as it seems
it's just getting u some spare hours from attending lectures

yet, imagine the pile of assignments waiting with close datelines

gosh, how should i get rid of this feeling of anxiety that builds up every now & then
racing against time is really scary
and i guess you know how fast time flies

if i can, i'd wanna freeze time NOW
and hope whatever's in the world stops for a while
let me get back on the right track first and foremost
before things resume back to normal

i feel suffocated from flooded by uni work which is basically never-ending,
and we've been doing them non-stop since 'god-knows-when'

my heart's pumping fast and as though the beat's getting out of pace..
can't breath well or sleep peacefully without getting haunted by 'nightmare' (assignments)
all floating in mind while i doze off

emotionally challenged,
not only in studies but at work place as well
had a bad, long, terrible day, almost the worst i can say
but just don't want mention about it any longer
it hurts especially when nobody understands

and i've to pick myself up again to face all the tough work ahead
how should i calm myself down?

maybe taking a break is a solution?
hmm, that's when the guilt strikes in
because despite resting a bit for a sec
deep down i know i cant afford to waste anymore time

where should i channel my nervousness?
perhaps this is why i'm writing an entry here..
sorry bloggie for spamming you with my worrying thoughts

but i think i need a shout-out (yes, literally wise)
where should be a good spot to do that i wonder

hu-ha.. hu-hah ..
i nearly felt like i'm gonna die ..
somebody save me
but nobody could help much i think

*sigh* >.<

how i wish it could be as simple as this:

saying bye-bye to stress by gulping it all down as desserts?

i've currently reached this state
(i.e. read s.t.r.e.s.s.e.d forwards just as it is)

and i hope to turn it backwards
can i reverse the reaction with desserts?
then there's no more stress?
i wonder if this equilibrium could ever be achieved

but of course i doubt stress will disappear so easily by itself unless you take away all that fear & successfully conquer whatever that's laid in front on the spot

desserts may help cheer u up a bit, but finally even after desserts eaten, stress will not be gone away just like that

stress definitely doesnt taste nice
and my cravings for desserts haven't even been satisfied yet..
after throughout almost the whole sem

find no time to settle that from beginning till now and due to some inconveniences in travelling from one destination to another
even planning for a simple food trip can be stressful when things don't go the way it's scheduled
now, it becomes more stressful and tiring to continue to plan again

well i reckon i'll just be thankful
*IF i can survive the following weeks*