my current status

warning: sorry another long post..read only if concerned..

At the workplace ~

without getting nagged at all in between of work, no shortage that requires me to pay out of my own pocket & to end each work day happily, while manage to gain entertainment during work.. ;)

For studies ~

I really don’t know or maybe not so certain..
Don’t dare to think about it & have no idea what to expect for it

Truthfully, I have fear inside of me
I’m afraid to hear any announcement which may shock me again about some drastic changes for the course..

To not get any news, it brings about anticipation..
When there’s slight response, it carries forth worries..

Gosh..how? how should I react to it? can someone tell me please..

From the day I escaped from my own misery of being lonely studying something which I less preferred, I surely enjoyed every moment of getting the opportunity to study something else which I really have interest in along with my great pals..

No doubt, all those which I have learnt..i really came to like what I’m studying..i’m definitely sure of it now after we’ve a real idea of what we’re to learn, also especially that we had just a small class, for this time round, I guess I finally get to know and remember each & every classmate’s name in this big uni..makes us feel more interactive with each other & closer too..like a family..enjoying one another’s presence in class, making fun every minute in class..it’s been a happy time & it’s simple to gather everyone together at one point..‘cooking something up’ once in a while..

All these I’ve been glad about..up until the very last day..
Yes, the very last day when we finished our exams & they announced their move of making changes..

After all that which I’ve come across, it was a day filled with ups & downs..

From getting excited about exam’s over to the point where my mood just shattered for the rest of the day..i can’t hide it because I can’t take it that I’m going back to the same old times when I really didn’t feel enthusiastic about..living each day with such emotion was just ‘killing’ me silently..

For them to tell me that they’re making changes such that I’ll need to go thru the previous things once again, I knew what’s gonna happen as I’ve already experienced it beforehand..

Heck..it’s really tough & how come my uni life has to be full of hurdles..it seems as though every semester for me, there has been something that gets me into my anxious mode..

if us, the minority (just the poor little 24 kitties) in the class, is already the majority, put out ways to voice out our viewpoint of the re-structuring plan, and yet it’s not gonna make any difference..how then by my own words would I be able to persuade them to provide us with what we deserve, a rightful education..

well, I can’t afford to turn back anyways..

imagine, what can I tell my parents, when they’ve tried hard to get me the chance to finally study what I desire..i am just grateful for it & appreciate their efforts..what else can I say?

yet, now everything’s a mess & turned upside-down..am I suppose to tell them what’s happening? Am I ought to make them worry for me even more? For now, i can only deal with it myself..hoping everything’s gonna get settled justly..

worse come to worst..if we still can’t cause any influence to the “Board of Authorities”, who seem to be right in all their ways & know “what-should-be-best” for us & most importantly beneficial to THEM..

then there’s nothing else which we can do except to accept it & I’ll just have to keep quiet and study..speak no more..end of story.

well, let’s look on the bright side, they got us mentally prepared quite early, at least for people like me, I would already know exactly what’s lying ahead if they’re sticking to the changes they made solely by themselves, without even consulting us students, who, apparently are the ones most affected in this course of study..because those who make the changes are not the ones learning it after all..unfortunately, our future is in their hands..it seems..

maybe they think we’re of no importance as they think that they’re the only ones who knows what should fit into our course map better..which method would turn out to be most useful..

perhaps the meeting, as quoted by mr. panda, is just a means to inform us of what’s going on..or maybe said by ‘sir’ lorence long, that the impact was so intense, we didn’t get to organize our minds in time to voice out what we think at that point of time..

or will it be like what our friends suspect, wondering that whether the next upcoming meeting would be a discussion, meeting (with genuine 2-way communication) or just another announcement where whatever we voiced out had been rejected..that they had refused our suggestion..or it’s been revised, taking into our consideration in the process?

Meanwhile, nobody knows what’s the outcome likely to be..

For me, I just wanna keep everything aside, wish not to have any thoughts about it, let everything be done based on His will, as we know we’ve tried our best..then whatever it is, we shall leave the rest unto Him & commit everything into His hands..God knows what should be best for us..even though humans may not carry them out more appropriately, despite having the right sense of mind to figure things out wisely..

Sorry to mention those things above..just that I feel somewhat unreasonable to waste the next half of the course, which is most crucial for the majoring into the specific scope of studies in uni, learning something which seems rather not-so-relevant to our “course”..according to what the course name implies..

somebody save me please, otherwise..i guess I just want to have the faith that if He can take us to it, He can bring us through it..

*fingers crossed.. >_<