1 more paper before 1 more sem but....

it has been long, it has been tough .................... and it's still not over yet *sigh*

i dare not aim high, just hoping much i'll survive through it
getting it done with is simply good enough
and wish the next one would be slightly better after the worst being experienced

definitely not an enjoyable one,
but that's what been laid out in front
no choice but to keep going,

i guess a reminder to be taken note of would be:

if you ever get knocked down,
remember that it's not about time to give in yet
instead, take a short time-out
then get up & fight again

------------------------------------------------------

hmm, hush.....
i'm feeling life's missing something ryte now
nothing special to 'spice-up' life a little
it's been revolving around studies only mostly
and i'm tired of it

especially as i feel quality of life deteriorates in some way
considering how hectic this uni life would be

deprivation of sleep
lack of nutritious food
irregular meal times
sedentary lifestyle without much physical activity

all these i've learnt
that the exact opposite of what have been mentioned above;
would be essential to lead to a better health condition
but ironically,
i've achieved all of those improper lifestyle habits

seriously,
i need a break
which should come true as planned if everything goes well
short but anticipating it to be a good vacation getaway
to rid of all the exhaustion
before anything else begins again

being away from home for more than 2 years already
and kinda missing home a bit
even though home-sick symptom rarely appears in me

but home..
is at least the place i can leave all else behind (temporarily)
and fully enjoy the comforts i get as much as i can

was a fresh start exploring a different environment 2 years back then
but now it's really a bit boring
as if staying in a 'nut-shell' for too long

even when there are actually many places that can plan to go for a visit
variety of nice food choices to indulge in
wide range of interesting activities to do

time's running out that can be spent with uni mates
and there was never enough opportunity to have great fun together

people say,
life is just like a sheet of canvas
you are the painter
it's up to you how you want to colour & create this masterpiece artwork
through your journey in life

in another context,
life may be a book with blank pages
where you are the rightful author
holding the pen & ink down the chapters of your own life in it

ultimately,
the meaning of my life?
i can't define it at the moment
because,
there's so much more to life
and so far, i still have yet to say i've been there, done that..

for now,
i just want to live a happy life
one that would make me smile at the beginning of a brand new day
and sufficient for me to sustain throughout another day
is that too much to demand for?

1st day of uni

and it marks the beginning of the final year for the 3-year course

yay, 1st lecture from as early as at 8am, i attended it, without being late~
after my only 3 hour 'nap' from the night (or morning) before..
and didn't doze off during the next few lectures as well

but now i'm feeling sleepy,
well, looking on the bright side,
think it can at least help improve my currently still nocturnal lifestyle..

hmm, just hoping i can make it throughout the rest of the whole sem
probably this positive energy just arise from being just the 1st day and the feeling of starting over afresh..
after our 3-weeks long break
will see if i can really stay disciplined to go to lessons daily by 8am..
*fingers crossed even though this ambitious new sem resolution might not be met anyway

no unfamiliar faces,
same lecturers we see from the previous semesters.

for human nutrition,

1st thing done by lecturer was requesting a couple of students to read out the unit outline/synopsis & objective..
quite interesting, reminds me of those primary/secondary sch days when the teacher asked the class to turn the textbook to page '??' and ask student 'x' to read one part and another student 'y' to continue on to another part...lol

apparently, the lecturer thinks we've covered some of the basic, important things for human nutrition, but i only recalled biochem studying loads of DNA and protein instead of how nutrients are processed in the body..

high expectations required from this lecturer and i doubt i can meet them *sigh..

then sneaked in to env health class,

the lecturer's got a sense of humor and her class won't be boring really, i guess
but i did not enrol to this unit & still pondering whether to change my elective from retail management principles to this one..or should i at least wait until i attend the lecture 1st..

in a sort of dilemma now as each has its pros and cons of outcome that i need to get a compromise and balance in between so i can make a decision of which to choose in terms of what will be useful and that won't drag down my grades at the same time..
any suggestion from anyone would be helpful.. >.<

right after that,
went to the instrumental analysis class
(one which i thought i escaped from it but end up dropping back towards it..sigh)

it's a hard unit for me,
the labs and the assignments..

and there was the usual, same, old grandpa-like lecturer (who prefers to mainly face the computer instead of making eye contact with students) already starting to teach some chemical analysis stuff..bit boring and there's lots to know about..

lastly, recombinant DNA tech..
(one which i would rather not take if it weren't changed to as a core unit)

and it was our brilliant prof,
teaching a big class this time,
which means less focus to individual or small groups
(phew, because encounter or discussions with him would make one feel awkward in a difficult situation not being able to get to what he wants)

even after the last sem interacting with him, but still i realize i couldn't capture what he really expects..

to understand him, it's unless you try to go inside his head and explore what's on his mind (which is kinda impossible)

most of the time, he seems like he's in his own world, fascinated by the nature and 'behaviour' of the microbes/enzymes/cells, concerning whether they're happy, healthy or forced to produce the desired components..
and how to cleverly manipulate their DNA in order to achieve purpose of some sort...

but at times, he's friendly to students too..
well, i guess we'll be hearing more of his little staggering of speech from some repetitive single words at some point in the midst of lecture and also his signature laugh from time to time..even if you don't get it..

after all, first day was not too bad..
maybe because stress is only yet to be felt soon afterwards..for sure

anyway, that's about it for 1st day, bye bye day 1..

welcome back to uni life, could sense it's gonna be way tougher, with more great challenges ahead..

well, gambateh everyone..

transition

i still remember clearly the day i set foot in this foreign environment, away from home..
yes, no doubt, it's already been almost 2 years now

from the day i felt like a total stranger to the place;
to the day i start to take the same route walking to uni daily

from the day i don't need to think what to have for meals;
to the day i learn to get & fix some food for myself

from the day i don't know exactly where the (a,b,c) s are on the keyboard;
to the day i finally get familiarized with the position of the alphabets
[effect after doing lots of typed assignments]

from the day i don't usually incline towards caffeine consumption;
to the day i try to rely on coffee to stay up awake and alert while burning midnight oil

from the day i depend on someone else to wake me up;
to the times i get up early with alarm just to finish work or prepare for the day

from the day i'm not used to directions around the place;
to the day i slowly learn the whereabouts of the area

from the day i seek excitement in exploring the mall;
to the times when i don't even have any idea what to do inside

from the day i ask my parents for allowance for spending;
to the day i find my first part-time job to earn some money

from the day i have convenient transportation to go to most places;
to the day i get used to become a pedestrian on the road

from the day i live a more care-free life;
to the moments i have to confront challenges ahead of me all alone

from the day i don't have to worry much;
to the times when i know very well how stress feels like

from the day i can stay in the comfort zones of home;
to the day i need to be independent and be responsible to take care of myself

all these have been experiences over these '2-months-to-2-years' time
ryte now, perhaps i should begin searching for the real truth, meaning & purpose of life
uni studies is gonna finish very soon, thoughts often underestimate how quick time can pass by

i'm tired..
i'm exhausted;
with what i'm doing

this sem felt miserably long compared to last sem
probably i enjoyed better last time
happy times get over way faster
even before you realize that it's the end of it

i can't wait for this sem to end
yet next sem will be worse i guess
surely won't be looking forward for the commencement of another new coming sem
so basically i'm 'stuck'
with only 3 weeks' holiday in between
which is going to say 'bye-bye' real immediately

i don't know what to expect in the future
neither have i the answer to how to best equip myself for it
getting ready for it means a whole new transition would take place
fear is lurking again..

2nd March ~ Chapter 4

somebody, please shake me to remind me of coming back to reality..wake me up for goodness sake.

play time is officially over, so..welcome to the challenging world/life of a Monash university student, especially when they let you enjoy for 3 months & let you "enjoy" all the more once uni reopens at the beginning (which is already the final month of the 1st quarter of the year)..

why am i making it sound complicated? well, i dont know, dont bother..

promoting the great package deals wrapped in uni life which include:

1. "early-bird" classes
2. freely pick your own busy schedule
3. 'super' lecturers
4. crazy coursework
5. have fun in stress..stress while having fun
6. constantly updated course map/structure
7. 1st come 1st serve basis 'limited edition' notes/lab manuals (grab only while stocks last)
8. 'dead' datelines
9. killer exams
10. library freezing frenzy
11. patience-endurance test during queue at printer counters

accompanied with the all-worth-it complimentary set ~
multi-purpose course mates & friends who do the following:

i) provide emotional support before breakdown as a result of 'meet-the-dateline' syndrome

ii) appear staying up til late nights together rushing reports and having discussions etc..

iii) pals for entertainment

iv) company for fellowship over meals

v) platform for sharing tears and laughter via cyberspace, msn connection or thru real-time interactions

T & C applies:

*no additional charges apply for all of the above..

however, no money, no talk..please pay your fees within a week's time once you're enrolled..

hope you enjoy the "ups" of it, uni will not take responsibility of the 'down' sides you experience..

study at your on risk..thank you~

spent the 1st day of uni, nothing should be unfamiliar, but brain is practically still remains in holiday mood.

My BRAIN needs to be warmed up, for it has been resting for a while now, except when activated in play mode. I guess I'm not using my brain enough to think .. how pathetic *sigh

ok, i might have exaggerated about not knowing how to properly hold a pencil & write something because of the 3+ months summer holidays, but ask me to do an assignment, my brain goes blank..right away, probably in 2 seconds..

explanation: 1st for after receiving the info, the 2nd second nothing is generated in mind..

today, a person came & ask me for directions in uni:

"hi, are you a new student?"

me: "no.."

"ok, then do you know how to go to lecture hall 5001"

me: hmm, if i'm not mistaken, you need to go downstairs, it's at the basement..

"right, thank you"

the point is i had to THINK TWICE just to answer her when i've finished 3 sems in the very same campus..

monash is really good at making us blur, forget about everything & feel like a whole new stranger again for having long holidays after short semesters..

i only know there are a lot of bridges linking to various buildings..
in case i be a buddy, i'll be very successful in getting newbies into a 'lost-in-campus' adventure tour..

Heard some fellow course mates consisting of a pet panda, or the 'sour plump witch (aka sweet little fairy..if that makes 'you' feel better) and the maid mentioned about some classes teaching about bacteria, kinda attracts me to join in & listen to that lecture 'illegally' to check out how 'fun' the class would be, as it was described..

Perhaps i'm better off go attend a kindergarten instead..if it seemed uni students are addressed as 'children' by that particular lecturer..of course it's gonna stir up more interest than one who acts really mature in teaching..even though by that age, a lecturer would be mature by nature anyhow..

my attention span has dropped down to <50% (or even less) i think..

1 reason coz i'm deprived of sleep?
8am morning class is simply dreadful for people like me, unless i adjust my biological clock back to normal human time pattern..

i could listen for like, say, 15 minutes? (gosh, time passed by really slowly in class by d way) then my mind starts wandering off automatically, either just daydreaming or thinking about other things, which has nothing to do with lecture at all..

throughout 2 whole lectures, i managed to only been captured attention to listen to only 1 lecture slide, which felt more like story-telling, from a serious, no-joke lecturer..haha

hmm, i'm definitely not ready & mostly never fully prepared, thus surely need time to get use to the hectic life once again, brushing off worries and battling through tough assignments that come along the way..

"hocus-pocus~!!" .. i just wish i can "focus" to studies again real soon..

well, also more like i need to find self-motivation that drives me back on the 'books' track..
b'coz unfortunately..

there's no medicine discovered that can cure laziness yet, as of today, regardless of how advanced technology is in this modern era..

no other way than investing effort in our commitment as a student & prioritize with time wisely..

"faito faito", keep up the 'fighting' spirit yea, everyone..

to all the coursemates: gambateh, minna-san.. ~cheers =)